Rob’s Thoughts

Student Council President

November 12th, 2008

Posted by Rob 11.11.08

So I was talking to my friend Sarah the other day, and apparently she had recently hit a major falling-out with her best friend. Sarah’s best friend, who will be nicknamed “Kate” for anonymity, had apparently been cheated on by her boyfriend. This betrayal was quite an embarrassment to Kate because “Steve” is the most popular guy in school. It didn’t help the situation that he had cheated on her with some new girl, just because the girl was smarter than Kate.

So how did this trickle down to Sarah? Well Sarah had always wanted Steve for herself, but had kept those aspirations thinly veiled. She knew that since Kate was more popular, she would have to allow Steve to get to know her through association. So when things hit the fan, Sarah’s meddling came to the forefront. Kate started to say all types of terrible things to everyone about Sarah. Of course, being a 17 year-old girl, Sarah was unable to keep herself out of the nonsense. She instead told everyone that Kate was out to ruin her, that Steve would have never cheated on her.

Now, the problem here is that if Sarah had just been a bit more mature, she may have been able to rise above this. Although she may not be Kate, it has become a time of renewal around school and everyone was pretty much done with Kate. So had Sarah been able to keep from getting herself tangled in the name calling she may have been able to arise as the most popular girl in school by not doing anything. Kate’s inadequacy combined with that of Steve’s ex-girlfriend, would have made Sarah a shoe-in. She would have risen merely because of the fall of those around her. Unfortunately for Sarah, she choose to tie herself to those on the way down, and is quickly being dragged down with them.

Now when Sarah Palin gave her RNC speech, I received numerous requests for an opinion on the matter. And I put it to them as simply as I could. “Sarah Palin is going to make a terrific Class President.” Her speech had pretty girl politics written ALL OVER it. Now maybe you understood that this entry was merely a shitty metaphor for how obviously terrible Palin has represented herself in the final days of the election and the ensuing week after. Kate obviously being the McCain side and we the people playing the role of “Steve.” Now I don’t think it was brilliantly paralleled, I just can’t picture Sarah Palin as anything other than the hot girl in high school who thought she was going to be president. Every school had one. And we all knew that her “hot girl” roots would inevitably keep her from ever rising above her looks to actually earn what she wanted. This is not a pity party for Palin, it is merely a reflection on how pathetic her rise and hopefully her fall, has and will be.

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What Happens Now?

November 7th, 2008

Well now we wait. We have just over 70 days left of the Bush White House. Scary I know. A lot can go worse in 70 days. We watch with baited breath, hoping the transition is smoother for Obama than it was for Clinton, hoping he can at least almost live up to the hype.

I do like his picks for Chief of Staff and Chief Advisor. Rahm Emanuel and David Axelrod are both politcal pitbulls. Lipstick not include ahaha ZING! They also have a lot of experience working together so that is always good.

I would love to see him bring in Colin Powell for Secretary of Education, Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense and Janet Napolitano for Attorney General. And to be honest although I’d prefer Bill Richardson, I wouldn’t mind John Kerry as Secretary of State. As well as having Howard Dean tapped for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Just personal preferences.

Short and sweet, but I just wanted to touch base. Yeah, we sure did.

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Yes We Can!

November 5th, 2008

First off, Obama/Biden ‘08! Anyways, with the recent success of Rob’s blog politically, it’s time we expand the operation to include a sports only blog. Thus, I introduce to you, Just The Tip-Off. Other writers will be joining soon, and hopefully both sites will be successful. Check it out, give me feedback, and more writers are on the way, so stay tuned.

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Thesis Ideas for Rudy Carpenter

November 2nd, 2008

Rudy Carpenter received a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies in May and is now listed as a Graduate Student. Here are some helpful ideas as to the possibilities and potential learning situations that can be beneficial to his career as a Clipboard carrying member of the NFL.

Finance-Rudy would be able to figure out how much money he’s lost so far in the draft since leading the Sun Devils to a FREAKIN’ TWO AND SIX RECORD!

Ceramics-He could make a replica of the Heisman. Too many jokes, so let’s move on.

Chemistry-You know, like with receivers?

History- His thesis could be about the Men of Troy.

Geography- At least Rudy would know how to find Pasadena in January.

Philosophy- Rudy can ponder, “If I throw two picks against Oregon at home, but all the fans left before the second one, did it really happen?”

Special Education- Draw your own conclusion.

Religion- He’s gotta pray to something. Hey, it works for Tebow.

Management- He could double major in Clock and Game.

Add your own in the comments!

Posted in Wally World | 3 Comments »

America As We Know It

October 29th, 2008

Posted By: Rob 10/29/08

I was watching the Daily Show tonight, because of course I am a “liberal blogger.” I must Tivo anything involving Jon Stewart to keep up my “liberal blog” street cred. For this same reason I also Tivo Olbermann and Rachel Maddow; I frequent sushi restaurants and keep at least an eighth in the house. Did I mention I am typing this on a Macbook?

So to get to the point I’ve wanted to discuss something with you guys. I guess it just took a hilarious John Oliver bit to get me going on the keyboard. An obviously uninformed McCain supporter made the following quote about Barrack Obama, “If this man becomes president I think America as we know it is gone.” As she finished speaking one thought sprung to my mind. As clear as could possibly be. Wait, they just showed a commercial advertising an “intentionally Christian college,” their words by the way, and the next commercial? A gay male hotline! Life really is beautiful sometimes. Sorry, ADD is a son of a bitch. “If this man becomes president I think America as we know it is gone.” Good. I can’t wait.

Look, I will not mince words. I want an elitist president. I want an Ivy League scholar. I want a president who’s nothing like “Joe the Plumber.” I don’t like a lot of you. Keep this in mind as you read, many of you fall short, most of you are disappointing. Let me explain myself: wait, no. I won’t explain myself, if you have been reading my writing for any period of time, you’re probably used to me being condescending and used to my general douche baggery.

The point I’m trying to make is that American’s are dumb, especially those leading the country. Joe Six-pack should not be in charge of this country. I do not want a President I can have a beer with. I want a president who is too busy to have a Coors Light because he’s got better things to do. I don’t want him to think, “Well I could have a beer with some common folk, or I could meet with the Ayatollah and try to get this whole nuclear(yes, there’s only one U you schmuck) enrichment thing hammered out.” I want him already in Iran, handling business.

If you think that Sarah Palin would make a better president for the United States than Biden or Obama than you should lose your right to vote. I am not joking. There is something within your mind that prohibits you from making reasonable and intelligent decisions. I never thought I’d say this but I would rather you not vote than vote for McCain. I mean that sincerely. I have always been a strong proponent of voting. Seeing as how many young intellectuals have decided they will not contribute to a system they have no faith in, I have taken an unpopular opinion amongst my peers. But I would rather take no steps forward than allow this country to regress. And I cannot play the fiddle by the fire. But if your vote is to allow these two to walk into the White House than I cannot look you in the eye and say I think you should get involved regardless of allegiance.

These two people terrify me. McCain’s willingness to sling mud shows that he cannot be trusted to change Bush’s policies. Specifically foreign policy; don’t kid yourself. Foreign policy is not getting less important. It is becoming infinitely more important. In a world economy, you cannot pull out of the nosedive flying solo. We must work with the world, and who do you trust to do that more? In an economic meeting with G7, who do you want in that negotiation room? Obama or McCain? If you can look me in the eye and say McCain, than I can’t talk to you. “Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone.”

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Deja Vu…

October 29th, 2008

So, I’m watching the Food Network channel, and I realize just how special the Presidential Ad Campaign has become…

Come on, McCain… You can’t even be inventive anymore? At least think of creative, flashy ways to denigrate and slander Obama! Lie through your teeth like good ole’ fashioned ads of yesterday. Don’t steal from popular late-night animated comedy shows and present them as your own clever ideas… That’s just foul play…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWSEcL9xFQk

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103847/?searchterm=I+broke+the+dam

So, I wanted to post this with the actual video clips, but was unable to load them to the blog… Sorry you will need to copy and paste the links to your browser…. Blah.

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Palin As President

October 29th, 2008

So, I had a bad day on Friday, and a friend cheered me up with this website. I decided to share it with the masses. Click on everything you can, and try clicking on some things multiple times, because it will change. Please enjoy.

www.palinaspresident.us

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This is War!

October 23rd, 2008

If I didn’t have to plan my war room for tonight’s upcoming fantasy basketball draft, I would prepare a rebuttal to the two posts preceding this, but it will take time, and lots of very weak points, just give me some time. For now though, please enjoy the following images.

Posted in Wally World | 1 Comment »

Why The Chargers Suck

October 23rd, 2008

1. Their theme song. Just look up the San Diego Super-Chargers song. It’s the most god-awful theme song in the history of professional football. I’d rather be gang banged by midgets while listening to “MMMBop,” on repeat.

http://msp291.photobucket.com/albums/ll300/michaelcrocker/MIDGETS.jpg

2. Philip Rivers. Never thought I’d see the day when a team wished they hadn’t traded Eli. It’s pretty bad. Only in San Diego does this guy seem great; I mean he’s been preceded by who other than Brees? Who they traded to keep Rivers. I mean Harbaugh, Leaf and Stan Humphries?! You must be joking.

http://broncotalk.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/riversface.jpg

3. They’ve been to one Super Bowl and they lost 49-26. 49-26! Pathetic. Even the Bengals have found a way to lose TWO Super Bowls.

http://imgs.sfgate.com/sports/49ers/pictures/2000/06/09/young-95superbowl.jpg

4. I’m pretty sure they don’t have any players in the Hall of Fame. Kellen Winslow? Your best players a tight end? That’s depressing. Fuck Dan Fouts. Do they even let Chargers go to the Pro Bowl if they aren’t on steroids or named Tomlinson?

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/nfl/images/070210probowl.jpg

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Posted in Rob's Rambling | 2 Comments »

Why The Cubs Suck

October 22nd, 2008

This is for Wally. I just couldn’t resist.

1. They aren’t the White Sox. I mean for one the Sox have a cooler looking hat. They also find it worth their time to win a postseason series or even the World Series from time to time. And personally I much prefer Buehrle to Zambrano and prefer Griffey to Fukudude.

http://www.yardbarker.com/m/2478/xl/kosuke-fukudome-coming-to-america-in-2008.jpg

2. Their history. Come on, this team has terrible Hall of Famers, except Ernie Banks. Ernie Banks rules. Of all the former Cubs players now in the Hall, Lou Brock, Hornsby, Eckersley and Foxx are bad ass hall members. But none of them made their name as a Cub. Chicago was just a midpoint or a low point. In fact two of those guys were killers for the rival Cardinals.

http://www.cubssuckclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/cardsvscubs.gif

3. 1908.

4. Their ace is the most overrated pitcher in baseball. Zambrano sucks, and he’s an ass to boot. And Soriano? Don’t get me started. Can’t hit low and away. That’s it. It’s that easy. This team just isn’t that good. Harden is good. Not a lot else going. And don’t worry a pitcher with injury histories can’t play for the North Siders. Mark Prior anybody?